Hungry

Halfway through my humble bowl of dinner, I realize I am lost in thoughts about something two months away, and barely conscious of the fact that I am shoveling in the next bite before I've finished chewing the last one. I'm enjoying the flavors, and yet not really taking them in - instead, unconsciously hungering for another"hit" in the next bite.

The metaphor of my life reflected in the moment washes over me. Why so "hungry?" What am I seeking in my frantic rush to read another book, learn another skill, do another "good" thing? When will my heart get what my head now knows - that it's all within me? ... that I already have everything I need?

I pause, put my fork down, and slow my chewing. The flavors are richer as I hold the food in my mouth and actually chew it until it's liquid consistency. I breathe deeper and slower, calling myself back from my busy mind's distractions several more times before I've savored the last bite. I can feel the tension washing away, and my stomach thanks me for the gentler approach with contented gurgles.

It's a life-long practice, I remind myself--this slowing down. A bit of upside-down living I'm committed to in the midst of the mad rush of modern life. Grateful for the holographic connectedness of life, I trust that even these 10 minutes of choosing to be awake to my food will create more presence and satisfaction in my non-food moments.

Gratitude Over Compote

(written February 28, 2009)

One of my favorite sweet desserts in the winter is a fruit compote, gently simmered until the fruit flesh softens, giving up its juices to blend with spice and syrup for a delicious and comforting ending to a meal. In this case, it consisted of organic apples and pears, raisins, a squeezed lemon, cinnamon, a dash of cloves, and some maple syrup. An added bonus was that it simmered for several hours on an old wood-burning cook stove, absorbing the cozy ambiance of the fire in the retreat space I was enjoying. As I savored the sweet, tart and spicy flavors mingling on my tongue, I found these words of gratitude flowing through my stream of thoughts:

Thank you, oh fruit of the vine
for offering up your life to
sustain mine
Thank you vine
for generously giving
of your harvest
And the trees contributing fruit, blood, bark and flower
Thank you

Thanks be to the Source from which it all comes
And to which we all return

In that moment I touched a deeper place in myself--a place that knows no separation between my body and Mother Earth. We are inextricably connected in this dance of Life...and I, so often numb or distracted in my busyness, miss that connection; a connection that feeds my soul - and, I say, offers the true solution to our planet's current peril. Oh, that I might touch that place more often...