The Illusion of Balance

As we near the Autumnal Equinox this Saturday, I've been reflecting on balance. I often hear myself and others talk about balance as something we strive to attain. It is common to think that once we attain it, we should be able to maintain it as well...as though there is some elusive, static state of balance to arrive at.

Life and nature teach us differently. The time point of the equinox signifies a balance between the hours of light and dark in a day--from the Latin aequus (equal) and nox (night). However, it is a brief point in time ... a passing, literally, of the center of the Sun across the Earth's equator. Most of the year,
we are living in an imbalance of light and dark. So, too, in our lives, there is no "perfect balance" to be attained. As the yin/yang symbol illustrates so beautifully, life is in constant motion.

Living well is about dancing with the complementary energies all around us. There are certainly moments when we experience balance. However, the ever-changing and evolving nature of life means that those moments will pass. When we can let go of the illusion that balance is something to achieve and maintain, it allows for greater ease. By not resisting what is showing up in the moment and simply allowing it to be what it is, we can remember that this, too, will pass.

So, I invite you to notice where you are striving for the illusive "balance" in your life, and simply let it go, accepting that where you are right now is perfect ... and knowing that it will continue to change and evolve. I notice that when I relax and stop beating myself up for not maintaining a perfect balance of work and relaxation, giving to others and self-care, or activity and stillness ... my breath deepens, my shoulders relax, and I am definitely a happier person, regardless of whether I ate or exercised perfectly, got in my ideal "down time," or checked everything off my to-do list!

I'll be celebrating the Equinox this weekend, appreciating the areas of my life where I am feeling balanced, and at the same time, letting go of needing to control or maintain them as such. Life is in constant motion. Let's choose to dance with it!

A client self-care story...and video!

The people I support through my healing practice are amazing individuals. They are taking bold steps, opening to new possibilities, breathing through their fears and finding the courage on the other side of that fear coin. As one of my teachers says, "Fear is simply courage without the breath!"

I was particularly honored that Anthony Scimonelli asked me to serve as his faculty advisor for an independent study. As a student in the Transformative Leadership and Social Change program at Tai Sophia Institute, Anthony was embarking on the Independent Study phase of his learning with a focus on self-care and breaking free from old stories and shoulds about writing and publishing his original music.

Among other learning activities, Anthony came for regular Reiki and Sound Healing sessions, which assisted him in opening to new possibilities and ways of being in his life. He discovered patterns of harshness, striving, and efforting that took a toll on his physical, mental and emotional health. I coached him to partner those patterns with a gentler and more nurturing approach, particularly in how he spoke and related to himself. As he took steps to express his creativity through original music, he broke free from old personal and family stories that he wasn't good enough to perform on his own. It was a joy to watch him move through the fears, create and honor space in his life for music practice, and proudly share the results with me and others.

Anthony is an audiovisual expert by day, and also loves to use those skills in his creative life. So he designed his Independent Study to include a music video chronicling his experience. It is now on YouTube (check it out!) and includes the first song he has recorded on his way to producing an album. Congratulations, Anthony!

I feel fortunate to be doing work that is so deeply rewarding. What a gift to be a companion to Anthony and so many others, as they break free from what is holding them back from bringing their unique and authentic gifts to the world. Kudos to all of them for honoring self-care as an important step to owning, embodying and sharing their gifts with the world.I am humbled and grateful for their trust in me as a partner on the journey.