Embracing the Darkness

Along with the ghosts and witches of Halloween hoopla, we also said good-bye last weekend to the last shreds of daylight in the evening, as Daylight Savings Time ended. While I welcome the light earlier in the morning, there's something about the early settling darkness that can be, well ... un-settling. As we move into the four darkest months of the year, many people struggle with lower moods or depression (known as SAD--Seasonal Affective Disorder).

I am intrigued with what might be underlying contributors to this common experience in our society. From a Traditional Chinese Medicine or philosophy perspective, the darkness is the balancing opposite of the light (as the yin/yang symbol beautifully portrays), and nature provides a concrete example of how to find balance in our lives. Just as much of nature takes a rest in winter to restore and prepare for another Spring, so we need more rest and down time in winter to restore our energy levels from the high-energy activity of summer and prepare for the coming spring.

So, why is the dark time of the year so difficult? Certainly there are many factors that contribute, and I propose that the association of darkness with the feminine is one of them. The masculine (yang) is associated with light, day, heat, action and upward, outward movement. The feminine (yin) is associated with the opposites of dark, night, cold, rest and downward, inward movement and reflection, and also with expression of emotions. It doesn't take much to recognize that our society is a bit imbalanced toward the yang. The social conditioning by messages to achieve, to pull ourselves up (by our bootstraps, of course), to climb the ladder of success, keep growing and earning more, and go for the limelight, are strong. We might be frowned upon or criticized if we are perceived to be doing nothing. Needing to rest or take a break is seen as weak in some circles.

The feminine has long been suppressed in our collective consciousness. While we've come a long way with women's equality issues, the oppression continues. In addition to blatant sexism, I say it shows up in subtle ways, like fear of the dark, the expression of emotions being seen as weak, and a disregard for the benefits of rest, silence and downtime.

What if we uncovered some of our unconscious beliefs and shifted them to embrace the qualities of the feminine? What if we broke away from the societal norms and, instead of resisting the darkness, embraced it by truly honoring our body's need for rest and our heart's need to feel the sadness or anger? What might be possible if we honored emotions as guidance from our soul, and viewed the darkness as an opportunity to restore, reflect and grow?

If our culture embraced the feminine and the darkness as valuable, and society encouraged self-reflection and more rest during the dark months of the year, might there be less suffering? less SAD? It begins with our thoughts and beliefs, which lead to our behaviors. If you notice yourself resisting the darkness in the coming weeks, join me in embracing it as a valuable balance to the light...a time to rest, reflect, honor the feelings that come up, and give yourself permission to bow out of some holiday craziness. You might be surprised by what shows up.