Hungry

Halfway through my humble bowl of dinner, I realize I am lost in thoughts about something two months away, and barely conscious of the fact that I am shoveling in the next bite before I've finished chewing the last one. I'm enjoying the flavors, and yet not really taking them in - instead, unconsciously hungering for another"hit" in the next bite.

The metaphor of my life reflected in the moment washes over me. Why so "hungry?" What am I seeking in my frantic rush to read another book, learn another skill, do another "good" thing? When will my heart get what my head now knows - that it's all within me? ... that I already have everything I need?

I pause, put my fork down, and slow my chewing. The flavors are richer as I hold the food in my mouth and actually chew it until it's liquid consistency. I breathe deeper and slower, calling myself back from my busy mind's distractions several more times before I've savored the last bite. I can feel the tension washing away, and my stomach thanks me for the gentler approach with contented gurgles.

It's a life-long practice, I remind myself--this slowing down. A bit of upside-down living I'm committed to in the midst of the mad rush of modern life. Grateful for the holographic connectedness of life, I trust that even these 10 minutes of choosing to be awake to my food will create more presence and satisfaction in my non-food moments.